
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/164296.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      American_Idol_RPF
  Relationship:
      Kris_Allen/Adam_Lambert
  Character:
      Kris_Allen, Adam_Lambert
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-07-24 Words: 4004
****** Taking A Toll ******
by abriata
Summary
     Kris travels through time visiting Adam.
Notes
     For the fic exchange. The first scene fills the prompt, the rest was
     for fun. I went this direction because she said "how or when". And I
     went "Cool!" and ran with it. Title from The Time Warp lyrics: It's
     astounding, time is fleeting / madness takes its toll
So when Adam stumbled downstairs that morning he was maybe a little pissed
about having to go to school on his seventeenth birthday. It was a Friday,
first of all, and come on, his parents should totally have one exception a year
on that attendance thing, anyway.
When he sat down at the table he'd also been a little nervous -- his father
never ate breakfast with them. Ever.
Then, calmly as you please, his parents ruin every perception (of himself,
reality; even of them: parents aren't supposed to be cool) he's ever held. And
still pack him off to school.
His life sucks.
He's firmly convinced of this because it's after his lame birthday party with
lame presents, and oh, yeah, he comes from a family of time travelers.
And it obviously sucks to be the older child, because Neil gets to actually go
through time, but Adam, because he's "first-born" (like that even means
anything), can send anything but himself.
This talent isn't particularly helpful, clearly, because Adam just got back
from talking to an older version of Neil, who came to visit himself. Adam tries
to be consoled by the fact that Neil apparently always remains a loser (nearly
thirty, god, hard to imagine, and his hair), but it's hard in light of the fact
that Adam in the future doesn't much feel like helping out his past self and
sending something cool on this totally sucky day. He closes his eyes and
mumbles, "I will send myself something cool," before peering around his room
hopefully. Nope.
Okay, try again. He doesn't know why it's not working -- he means to do it, and
it's not like he'll forget today, oh, ever.
He's on the third repetition when someone says, "Oh, you really weren't
kidding."
Adam jerks up. "What? Who?" and then stops, because, well, yeah. Plus the guy's
crawling over his legs.
"First things first." A finger pokes kind of painfully between his eyes. "Kris
Allen is not a thing." Another poke. "You are going to remember that because,
dramatic flair or not, I don't like the implication."
He settles back onto his heels, onto Adam's thighs, wow, and Adam gulps and
blinks and says, "Kris Allen?"
He, Kris, smiles warm and soft and Adam thinks he just got his first real
crush. "Adam."
For someone so small he's awfully heavy is an incongruous thought to have when
you're getting your first real kiss, but Adam's spared further indignity when
Kris pushes him flat down and licks into his mouth and he stops thinking at
all.
Kris sits up, away, and peers around his room and says, "You're kind of a dork
right now, aren't you?"
So Adam tries to sit up too. "Okay, what are you doing here if you're so
unimpressed?" And yeah, not the best way to treat the first and possibly only
guy he'll ever have on his lap, but seriously. It's a little justified. He
sucks in the future, if this is supposed to be anything but awkwardly
mortifying.
But it's not so embarrassing when Kris leans their heads together and touches
his cheek and tells him sincerely, "I don't love you because you're
impressive." Adam just breathes, staring into close brown eyes. "Oh, too much?"
Kris bites his lip, smile widening when Adam shakes his head frantically.
"So, um." He clears his throat. "Why are you here?"
Kris looks down at their laps, mutters, "I'm trying to seduce you."
Adam doesn't know if he's laughing because Kris seems to be fantastically bad
at it or at the very idea of Adam needing to be seduced, but Kris flushes
faintly, high and red, and half-shoves at his shoulders. "Shut up. I've never
done this before!"
Adam almost swallows his tongue. "Had sex?"
Kris raises his eyebrows slowly and now it's Adam's turn to blush. "No, we've
pretty much got that covered. I meant I've never had to try with you before.
You're more than happy to take care of it."
Adam curls hands around his hips, rough denim and soft cotton under his palms.
"You're mine, in the future?"
And he hates the way he said that, high and needy and phrased like he thinks he
could own someone like Kris.
Kris huffs a sweet little laugh and kisses his forehead. "Yeah. And pretty much
always."
Adam lets out a soft, awed oh and hides in Kris' neck. Kris hums, nice steady
voice, and pets his hair. Finally, Adam gets up the courage to lean back and
make eye contact. "Um, about that seducing thing? I think I'm maybe pretty
easy."
Kris cocks his head and smiles, a little sly. "Yeah?"
Adam can't answer because Kris' fingers are pressing along his jaw and opening
his mouth. He jerks and moans when Kris licks into him but he opens up and
kisses back.
He's panting while Kris moves and strips his shirt off, smiling smugly. "Come
on, Lambert, clothes off," and Adam scrambles to obey.
He'd be shy, maybe, but Kris pulls him to sit on the edge of the bed and stands
unabashedly before him. Adam wants to touch, lick.
"So, this is your deal. What do you want?" Kris is looking at him again,
touching his shoulders and his face like he's something precious.
Adam sighs. "I don't know, everything?"
Kris laughs and Adam's voice cracks when he says, "I don't know, I've never--"
And Kris touches his mouth lightly and tells him, "I know. And you always want
everything."
Adam swallows hard and leans forward to kiss Kris again. He traces teeth and
tongue and jumps when Kris' hands settle on his thighs.
Dropping to his knees, Kris smiles when Adam's breath hitches, and then Kris
leans forward and licks, along his stomach and his hip and then his cock, and
Adam tangles his fingers in short brown hair and screws his eyes shut. Kris
sucks softly and moves his tongue and moans when Adam pulls too hard at his
hair.
"Kris," Adam starts, doesn't know what he's going to say and groans instead.
Kris looks up at him, eyes half-closed and mouth moving lazily.
Adam drops his head back and thinks a moment later that it's only been a few
minutes and he's embarrassing himself, but he calls out Kris' name again
desperately and presses his hands hard down into the sheets while he comes,
shaking.
Kris stands then settles over, straddling him again. "Well?"
Adam doesn't try to stutter out a response, just moans and kisses his mouth.
Laughing, Kris says, "Okay," and grinds down against him. Adam grabs his hips,
yelping, and he blinks innocently. "What? Where's the teenage recovery time?"
Adam glares and jerks away when Kris licks his cheek, wide and sloppy and
sticky-wet.
"So," he mumbles into Kris' hair, "I send you back to do this?"
Kris shakes his head. "To meet you, as a birthday present," there's wrinkled
nose and a frown on his forehead for that, but Adam smiles as he shakes it off,
"to be the first person you fuck. Not to lay around and cuddle." He says the
last bit pointedly and Adam rolls his eyes, pleased.
"What do you want me to do?"
Kris leans back, offers cheerfully, "You could blow me, " and yeah, Adam can do
that.
"How?" He reaches down, fumbles a hand around Kris' cock and strokes clumsy and
enthusiastic. Kris hisses through his teeth and Adam thinks how rude when Kris
shoves him over, until Kris is spread out on his back next to him and then he
just stares.
Kris cocks his head at him, curious and stroking himself slowly. Adam scrambles
to his knees, painfully aware of long legs and arms and clumsy seventeen-year-
old bodies. Kris doesn't seem to mind, just tugs at his hair while Adam
arranges himself.
He ends up draped over one of Kris' legs with one of his own feet on the floor.
He licks his palm and slides his hand down Kris, who lolls his head backward
and pants irregular breaths. He licks near his thumb and then moves his mouth
over the head, working out the dynamics of teeth and tongue and lips. Kris
moans and says breathlessly, "You don't have to go so fast."
Adam breathes and just licks a little, slower.
He works deeper, figuring out how far is too deep, too much, and how pressing
his tongue makes Kris' voice change from quiet murmurs to carefully muffled
groans. He shifts his hips absently against his bed, the slide of sheets
familiar. Kris tugs his hair sharply, says, "Adam," low and rough. He wriggles
again and takes Kris deeper, an answering keening pulled from the back of his
throat.
"No, Adam," another yank, and what the hell, he knows he's not doing it wrong.
"Kris?" He pulls away, looks up, can't help the frown he knows is forming. Kris
grab at his wrists, tugging him forward. A hand wraps around his cock and he
groans before biting his lip. "What?"
"Grab my jeans," Kris says.
He fumbles for them, handing them to him cluelessly, then. Oh. He thinks his
ears are turning red but Kris just unscrews the cap on the lube and hands it to
Adam.
"You're going to fuck me." And Kris leans in and kisses him gentle and sweet
and falls back and spreads his legs.
Adam opens his mouth, shuts it, and fumbles with the bottle. Thank god for
porn; he knows (theoretically) what to do.
The lube's cold and slimy-slick, not like he thought it'd be, as if lube would
be so much different a few years in the future, and he's got it all over his
hand, messy. Kris is smiling at him and he presses careful fingers in.
Kris arches, huffs out a breath, and Adam freezes, eyes flicking to his face
and down. He laughs, rolls his head, says, "Yeah, okay. Just for future
reference you're usually gonna want to start with one, not two. Wow."
Adam pulls back. "Sorry. I --"
"No, it's okay. Startling." Kris pushes towards him and Adam slides his fingers
in, deeper, watching Kris watching him. He twists his wrist, likes the caught
breath he gets.
Kris reaches for him and Adam goes, kissing while he moves his fingers gently,
hesitantly. Biting at his lip, Kris says, "Move you fingers deeper and curl
them up," Adam does, almost before he finishes the sentence. "Yeah, now," Adam
bites at his mouth, twists his fingers until Kris whines and his hips jerk.
Adam looks down, smiling. He's not totally clueless.
"There?"
Kris narrows his eyes, trying to glare while Adam fingers him open. "There's
the attitude. I was wondering where it went."
Adam presses a third in while he widens his eyes innocently but he can't help a
smile when Kris gasps in on a whine.
He finds a fading bruise on Kris' collarbone, wonders if it's from him and
sucks at it just in case.
"Okay, okay." Kris is pushing at his shoulders and Adam kneels up.
"Condoms?"
Kris raises his eyebrows. "Um, no?"
Adam shrugs, discomfited, and Kris rolls his eyes until Adam smiles.
"Come on." He wriggles, pressing a knee against Adam's hip encouragingly.
Adam swallows hard, grabs his cock and slides in, slow and just different from
anything he's felt before. Moving his hips hesitantly, he looks up to see Kris
watching him and almost smiling in what looks like wonderment.
He gasps in a breath, forces out, "What?"
Kris just pulls him down, in, with heels against his thighs and arms around his
shoulders. He kisses him until Adam's panting against his mouth and murmurs
again, "Come on, " and shifts, grinding against Adam and tightening.
Adam trembles, biting at Kris' neck and coming fast and hard. Kris moans into
his ear and Adam pants out, "Sorry," but Kris shakes his head desperately and
laces his fingers with Adam's, bringing their hands down to fist his cock.
"Just -- yeah." He's squeezing his eyes shut and Adam watches while he comes
apart.
After, Kris pushes weakly at his shoulders. Reluctantly obedient, Adam moves
down and into his side. Kris strokes over him absently and says, "I'll be
leaving soon."
Adam nods; that's what he'd figured. "When do I see you again?"
Kris turns and looks at him. "I don't know when. I don't meet you until I'm a
lot older than I would be now. In our time, I'm younger than you." Adam winces.
"But you see me before you actually meet me at least a couple more times."
Adam lets his breath out slowly and Kris rolls away to tug on clothes. "So
you're going somewhere else next?"
Kris shrugs. "Yeah. I don't know when, you were kind of vague. Just said that
you were sending me to when you need me."
Adam rolls his eyes and Kris laughs. "You also told me something to say to you
each time, so the first one is a strict order to practice sending things
through time so you get better. Apparently, you sucked when you started."
Adam wants to defend himself, but Kris is gone.
---
The second time is a little more than a year later -- it's not a special day,
his birthday or a holiday, it's just a Thursday. Adam's pacing his tiny
apartment, tugging his hair. Kris is as small as he remembered, though he would
have thought his perceptions had gotten warped over time.
"Kris."
"Hi, Adam. Okay." He blinks, turning and looking around. "What year is it?"
Looking at him, Adam wants to grab and hold. He says, "I'm eighteen."
Kris nods. "Oh." And then he grabs Adam and kisses him, but he pulls away
nervously when Adam nudges him toward the bed. "I'm about to go. You said to
tell you that you need to have other people in your life."
Adam shakes his head. "No. What?"
Kris smiles, tight. "You at least have to be experienced enough to teach me
later." It looks like it's painful to force out.
His phone rings and Kris is gone. He picks it up and says yes when a classmate
asks him to go out to the clubs.
---
Adam will barely remember his twenty-third birthday. He still hasn't been
getting real parts, he has no job, he hasn't seen Kris in almost five years.
He goes and gets as drunk as he can as quickly as he can.
All he does remember is being led home by Kris and kissing him. He tells him,
"I love you," and "I hate you," and he throws up all over him.
He wakes up to a note on top of Kris' dirty clothes that says keep trying and
hold on and I love you, too.
---
The fourth time Adam meets Kris is outside an auditorium. Kris is just waiting
for him (he's wearing some of Adam's too-big clothes that he took years ago)
and Adam feels his frown lift. "Hey, there."
Kris' smile widens and he reaches up, ruffling his hair. Adam lets him get away
with it. "You dyed your hair."
"Was I not supposed to?" He cocks his head.
"No, it's fine. It's dyed when I meet you, just a different color."
Adam nods and they stand there watching each other. Finally, Kris points over
his shoulder. "Do you want to get coffee?"
He shakes his head. "Kris, I have a boyfriend."
Kris' mouth draws into a thin line. "I know. Just coffee."
So Adam follows him and they end up sitting next to each other while Kris
traces Adam's face.
"It's been like watching you grow up in fast forward. I didn't. God." Kris
drops his hands into his lap and looks down at them.
Adam clears his throat. "Thank you. For last time."
Kris nods, face quiet and drawn.
"How old are you?" He sounds sharp, brittle.
Kris turns back to him, wary. "Why?"
Adam snorts. "Because it's been over seven years since you told me we were
going to be together and I'm tired of waiting."
Kris sighs. "I'm just supposed to tell you to wait a little longer."
"That's it?" Adam's incredulous, voice rising. "Your pointers are pretty
useless, aren't they?"
Wincing, Kris says, "I'm doing what you told me to."
Adam laughs, gulps too much coffee and leans forward, whispers in his ear. "Do
you always do what I tell you?"
Kris jerks back, red. "Adam! You have a boyfriend. You--"
"Yeah, I have a boyfriend. One I love, as a matter of fact. Your existence
means that ends." He's snapping and Kris draws a shaky breath and is gone,
again.
Adam buries his face in his hands.
---
When Adam's twenty-six Kris shows up in his living room, back to him. "Well?
Any help, or do I just stare at your ass until you fuck off for another couple
of years?"
Kris turns to him, no smile to greet Adam for the first time. "Do you think
this is easy for me? I have to--"
"You have to what? Skip nine years in a couple of hours? Deal with me?"
"Yeah, deal with you!" Kris ignores the bite, the undertones of bitterness that
say Adam's not yelling at him, at only him. "I love you, and I have to give you
permission, encouragement, to sleep with anyone you want, I have to see how
much your life sucked at times and I can't help you. I love you and a couple of
minutes ago, for me at least, you told me you were in love with somebody else."
Adam's still. "If it helps, he broke up with me after about three years today.
Because I was waiting for something he could never be." He laughs, voice
catching on the ragged edge of waiting breath.
"You think I don't know that? And I want you to be happy! If I could I'd give
him back to you." Kris is tired, and for the first time Adam can look at him
and see him, so, so young.
Adam reaches for him, wrapping around and burrowing into his shoulder while
they breathe each other through gaps in time. "How long? Just tell me, god."
Kris sighs, "Just another year, I swear."
Tightening his grip, Adam tells him, "You're so much younger than me. It made
it worse, all these years, because I'd look at you and think, oh, you're about
my age, and I'd get so impatient that I was going to miss you somehow."
Kris laughs, genuine and soft. "You won't have a chance of missing me, I
promise."
Adam nods. "Okay. Okay." He pulls away, keeps a light hold on Kris' wrists.
"I'm sorry. For hurting you." It's awkward to say, stilted when he doesn't
really know what effect he's had on Kris, but he manages it.
Biting his lip, Kris smiles. "It's okay. I already knew you can be a bitch."
Adam opens his mouth and Kris shushes him. "And you warned me, when you sent me
this morning."
Adam watches Kris, right and exactly as he's always remembered. "You told me
once that I should get involved with other people, if only for, like,
practice."
Kris looks away. "Yeah?"
"That was you, wasn't it? I told you to tell me because otherwise I would've
been lonely or guilty or both. But you were jealous, you wanted to find a way
to make it be about you."
Kris frowns. "You had to do all of it, I know. It made you who you are."
"Kris?" He looks at Adam, still unhappy. "Except for when I hated you, it's
always been at least a little about you." Kris glances down and fights off a
smile and Adam bites at his ear and whispers, "And when I hated you it wasn't
at all about them."
And he kisses him. He knows how to make people respond and it's been almost a
decade since Kris was last in his bed but Adam's not seventeen anymore. Though
Kris is gone in the morning, Adam makes him beg that night.
---
When Adam's newly twenty-eight he meets Kris. Most people, with normal
circumstances, would be dismayed with a lover who doesn't know them, but the
lack of recognition makes Adam's stomach drop and he bites his lip against
calling out his name.
A couple of weeks and the revelation of Kris' marital status later Adam is
woken by a firm knock on the door. After glancing at the bed across the room
where Kris sleeps he opens it. And looks at Kris.
Kris pushes past him, sits on Adam's bed. Adam glances frantically between the
two of them until Kris shakes his head. "I'm a heavy sleeper. And I'll wake up
before I leave anyway, which I why I'll believe you when you tell me all about
me later."
Adam blinks, trying to decipher that. "Okay, whatever. Why did you never
mention you were married? Are you married? And I thought I wasn't going to see
you again." His voice is a low hiss despite Kris' lack of caution.
"Look, it's almost time, right? And this way you get to know me as me before
you spend all your time trying to corrupt my morals."
Adam chokes down a laugh. "Fine. Any advice this time? This prospect's
daunting."
Kris shakes his head. "You're going to kiss me after I leave. I'll do the
rest."
"Really?" Adam stares quizzically at the bundle of blankets and hair.
Laughing, Kris tells him, "Really. You've earned a break, after all these
years. Now, kiss me goodbye. This is the last time."
Adam looks at him, strangely sad though Kris, his Kris, is right behind him,
too. He gets kissed softly and Adam deepens it, grinding against him. It'll be
a while before he gets Kris for real so he'll make the best of this. There's a
startled breath and Adam whirls, sees Kris awake and staring at him. He looks,
and yeah, Kris is gone.
"Did I just -- Adam?" Kris is rubbing at his face in disbelief and Adam takes a
deep breath and kneels over him.
"That was you. From the future, getting back from making my seventeenth
birthday awesome."
"What?" Kris has his eyes comically wide. "But. And we. What?" Adam smiles,
grabs his hand, and kisses him for the first time.
---
Epilogue:
Kris is blinking his eyes open to their apartment when Adam grabs him and turns
him over the back of the couch. Kris struggles, protests, "Adam! I just got
fucked, jesus! Twice." And yeah, he gets sore when Adam plays with him too
much, too long, but they both know he'll still take it. Adam tells him as much,
gleefully, and Kris flails, tries to smack him. "I'm not going to be able to
come again. Adam."
That's true, at least. It'll be a while yet. "Doesn't matter. You'll be fine by
the time I'm in you."
He huffs out a breath. "Oh, really?" Adam grins when the effect is ruined by a
moan as Adam gets his pants down.
He presses fingers in (two) and breathes out a reverent oh, fuck. "You're still
open. You're wet."
Kris is blushing, he knows, but Adam kisses his shoulder and bites over a vivid
hickey, courtesy of (always) him. He gets a flinch and a whine so he licks
apologetically and moves his fingers gently until Kris pushes back and mutters
an embarrassed, "Come on."
Adam smiles in fond remembrance and drops to his knees. "You've still got me in
you. Have had for over eleven years." He's smug, teasing Kris and licking along
his spine, scraping skin into red sensitivity with teeth until Kris squirms
away.
Kris forces out a strained laugh. "Okay, you're still a dork."
Adam hums disagreement and licks around his fingers until Kris is shaking for
him.
"Adam." He's buried his face in his arms and Adam bites at his hip and kisses
his leg, murmuring happily when Kris twitches and groans, "Come on."
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